Crashing My Own Pity Party

First of all, I will admit that I am a huge fan of pity parties.  I think they are necessary and can be very therapeutic.  I have two rules for my own personal pity party though.  First and most important, pity parties cannot last more than one day.  Any longer than a day is more likely a trip down the proverbial rabbit hole and stronger measures must be taken.  Second rule is that I don't invite people to my pity party.  These things really are better left to just one person.  Bringing someone into the mix can lead to broken friendships, more sleepless nights, and if done on a frequent basis relationship issues.  


I am fine admitting to those around me that I am having the pity party.  Most people will steer clear and leave me to my darkness.  Some people try to be cute and cheer me up, which sometimes will help, but more often than not is just not what I am wanting.  I want to bask in self loathing and misery and sadness and, well, pity.  I want to do it and get it over with.


Today was the perfect day for a pity party, but thanks to the love of my life, I was actually able to crash that party.  Today mark three weeks since my ankle surgery for me.  I've not been able to do much of anything, but lie on the couch, lie in the bed, sit in the chair, crutch or knee walk to the bathroom.  Each activity is tiresome, can oftentimes be cumbersome, and takes enormous effort.  Said love of my life had a paperback in hand, asked me if I needed anything, and was headed out for a couple of hours in the pool.  I just shook my head no and proceeded to settle in for the duration of the pity party.  
Then he asked me if I was enjoying my pity party, to which I answered, "of course!"  He then asked me if I wanted to join him outside.  It's too hot, my cast will feel miserable, and I retorted (okay, whined) my litany of reasons to stay inside and sulk.  My nifty little Xerosox won't be in for a few days, so I'd just tough it out in the nice air conditioned house.  
My beloved gave me an alternative and questioned my "toughness", which was basically a challenge to live up to his offer to help me through my dark day.  So, I bucked up, went with his creativity, and had total trust in him and was able to spend a glorious hour in the pool.  


Sure it would have been easier to stay inside and wallow away, but how often does one get to crash their own party?

Recharge

Until I crossed the Sunshine Skyway Bridge early Saturday morning, I had not realized how much I really needed a break from the mundane of every day life. 

We took an overnight, two day trip down toward the Port Charlotte area.  My childhood best friend was visiting her snowbird parents from Northern New York, so what better thing to do than take them to our favorite, not very well known beach.  Two left turns and a quick right at the round-about, and we were at the beach!  My friends thought it was as amazing as I do!

We spent the afternoon walking up and down the beach, collecting sharks teeth and sea shells.  We chatted with old men who had spoons attached to old golf club shafts – it was much easier than having to bend over every three seconds when you saw a shark tooth.  We sprawled out on the warm sand, played in the surprisingly warm water, and we all had these funny smiles on our face that showed how wonderful the sea air was treating us that day. 

I took a few moments for myself and walked up the beach.  Even though my daily life has a relatively low stress level, I do forget to take time out to just get away from everything.  This was that weekend for me.  I walked along the beach, hearing the surf crash, I watched the seagulls chasing each other, I watched the end of a wedding, and I took in a deep breath of salty air.  I was at peace!

We came back to the beach early Sunday morning for a few hours.  It was quiet when we arrived.  We wandered along the same stretch of beach as we had the day before, but it was like seeing it for the first time.  The water was a perfect green, like a piece of glass that tumbled across the ocean for a hundred years.  The sun kissed our shoulders, leaving pink in its place. 

I was in the place that makes me happiest, along the sea, with the love of my life.  I was refreshed and my batteries were recharged.  I made myself a promise that I wouldn’t wait so long to get back to that place.