My Life With Seashells

When I first started this blog the main purpose was to use the medium of writing for a creative outlet.  I could put my thoughts out there for all the world to see, wear my heart on my sleeve, be as real a possible - of course, all the while working on those creative thoughts and processes that are always going through my mind.  


Why would anyone really want to ready about me - a forty something chick who lives in Florida, collects seashells, has a bum ankle and likes to read?  What do I have to offer?  So, I trudged along like I always do, and when the transition from an old year to a new year came around I decided that I actually DO have something to offer.  I'm a forty something chick that lives in Florida who loves to read, who has a bum ankle, and I collect seashells.  Wait?  What?  Didn't I just say that not three sentences ago?  Yes, yes I did.  


I sat around for almost a month and wrung my hands and clutched my pearls with worry that I wouldn't be able to pull it off.  I thought that I would just let this blog fade away and swirl down the toilet bowl of where blogs go when they die.  I second guessed myself, then third guessed myself, then asked myself "what do I have to lose"?  Nothing really.  Either I go for it and succeed or fail or never go for it and that in and of itself is a failure without even trying.  Then I would kick myself in the tush for not giving it go.  More hand wringing, more pearl clutching, then a eerie sense of calm.  Nike said it best - "Just do it"


I've often thought of going to all the blogs I stalk follow and stumble across and asking in the comments section, what motivated you to start blogging?  What was your creative inspiration and desired outcome for having a blog?  Did it change part way through?  


Here it is:


I read.  I read a lot, probably a lot more than many people.  Besides searching for the end of the Internet,  reading is my main source of entertainment.  I don't have cable television, so the day-to-day drama of reality television and commercials escapes me.  While the books that I read aren't profound, and most of them are picked up in an extremely economic way - they are entertaining for me and give me a way to escape daily stress.  I actually do read a lot of Indie books that I pick up as freebies on Amazon, and what better way to give back and say thank you to the author of that book than to give them a true and honest review of their labor of love?  The Internet is powerful and through the mediums of blogging and Twitter and Goodreads and other social media I could possibly help these authors out by reviewing their work and letting the communities that I follow know.


I have a bum ankle.  For my entire adult life I have dealt with the worsening progression and disability of my right ankle.  I have belonged to a couple of communities of other people who share a similar plight in their lives, but as someone who craves information, I know that the more information there is out there, the more calming effect it has.  I believe that I can provide that information as a historical summation of how my ankle problems started and how I have been able to maintain a pretty active and normal lifestyle while losing a part of myself in the process and not going [totally] insane.


I collect seashells.  I've always had an affinity for rocks and the little things that the earth leaves us I see as gifts.  I am not really sure why, but I keep my eyes to the ground when I am walking, because I never know what I might stumble upon and be able to pick up as a treasure.  I've collected a lot of rocks and seashells and sea glass and shark's teeth along the way, and I would like to share those trips of finding such treasures with everyone.  They are special and have meaning to me.




So, that's the 2012 "Attainable Goal" for My Life With Seashells.  I hope that you will enjoy some part of it, give me honest and truthful feedback, and come back again and again.

Capture the Flag - Curse of A Lifetime

I have the worst ankle of any person I know.  I have had 5 ankle surgeries, and have spent countless hours of my life dealing with the pain and issues associated with ankle arthritis.
It all started back at Fort Drum Day Camp when I was probably about 10 or 11 years old.  We were playing a game of capture the flag and my foot found a nice hole and over it went.  Now, I was never a graceful child despite my mother's trying for me to be.  I took ballet, I tried out for Little League (that's an entire other post and a bottle of wine), played some sports, but I always ended up getting hurt, most specifically my ankle.


My first surgery was at the age of 15.  I was able to lead a fairly normal life after that, with some high school sports (but always getting hurt), time in the Navy (again, ankle rears it's ugly head), and a fairly long career at nursing, all of which combined together made for a pretty crappy ankle.  


I have had two ankle fusions in the last 6 years.  An ankle fusion is where two bones of a joint are pinned (screwed) together to keep any motion from happening.  The first fusion was the big ankle joint - the one that makes your foot go up and down.  The second fusion was the joint just below the big joint, in normal people, it's the joint that allows your ankle side-to-side movement.  
So, now I am in total lock down mode of my ankle.  

My most recent surgery was about 2 1/2 weeks ago.  Having this surgery has made me realize a few things.  I'm not as young as I used to be, I'm not as strong as I think I am, and I have to come up with a really good story soon to explain the massive scarring on my foot - ankle surgery is just too boring, and my mangled paw deserves to have some fun with this.


Who would have thought an innocent child's game of Capture the Flag would change the course of my life?

Recharge

Until I crossed the Sunshine Skyway Bridge early Saturday morning, I had not realized how much I really needed a break from the mundane of every day life. 

We took an overnight, two day trip down toward the Port Charlotte area.  My childhood best friend was visiting her snowbird parents from Northern New York, so what better thing to do than take them to our favorite, not very well known beach.  Two left turns and a quick right at the round-about, and we were at the beach!  My friends thought it was as amazing as I do!

We spent the afternoon walking up and down the beach, collecting sharks teeth and sea shells.  We chatted with old men who had spoons attached to old golf club shafts – it was much easier than having to bend over every three seconds when you saw a shark tooth.  We sprawled out on the warm sand, played in the surprisingly warm water, and we all had these funny smiles on our face that showed how wonderful the sea air was treating us that day. 

I took a few moments for myself and walked up the beach.  Even though my daily life has a relatively low stress level, I do forget to take time out to just get away from everything.  This was that weekend for me.  I walked along the beach, hearing the surf crash, I watched the seagulls chasing each other, I watched the end of a wedding, and I took in a deep breath of salty air.  I was at peace!

We came back to the beach early Sunday morning for a few hours.  It was quiet when we arrived.  We wandered along the same stretch of beach as we had the day before, but it was like seeing it for the first time.  The water was a perfect green, like a piece of glass that tumbled across the ocean for a hundred years.  The sun kissed our shoulders, leaving pink in its place. 

I was in the place that makes me happiest, along the sea, with the love of my life.  I was refreshed and my batteries were recharged.  I made myself a promise that I wouldn’t wait so long to get back to that place.

Box of Rocks

I moved a few years ago from Arkansas to Florida, so I looked at that as a time to clean out the boxes that were gathering dust in my attic. I found items from my childhood, diaries from when I was a teenager, study manuals from Navy boot camp, but the most interesting thing I found were rocks. In the bottom of several boxes, there were rocks. There were funny looking rocks, rocks that I clearly suckered a parent into buying me from an overpriced museum gift shop, and rocks that I had not the slightest clue as to where they may have been picked up. There were a few seashells rolling around in the bottom of those boxes also.

I sat in my garage in the sweltering summer Arkansas heat and thought about rocks. I've always been the type of person that when walking along, keeps one eye on where I am going, but also one eye on the ground, because you just never know when you will see something that should be picked up. I guess I've had this fascination with the fossils of the earth since I was a kid. I had never really thought about it before, but then I did recall that trip to a castle in Wales. I was wandering around the grounds of this perfect Welsh castle and there was a pile of rocks. I remember looking left, looking right and plunking a piece of that castle in my purse. That rock sits today on my home office desk with a picture of the castle.

Now that I live in Florida I obsess not only over the rocks, but the seashells! I have glass containers of them all over the house, I think it's a requirement for living near the sea. I'm borderline selfish when it comes to shells also. My mother came to visit this past Thanksgiving and we took a stroll on the beach one day after lunch. I brought my trusty bucket and proceeded to barge ahead of the group to be the first person to get all the great shells. Only later did I realize that was kind of selfish, and I gave up a portion of my loot to my mom. I did keep all the sharks teeth and sea glass though.

Even though My Life with Seashells was born today, out of the land of Blogger, My Life with Seashells began a few decades ago. I've recently hit the first significant milestone in my life that has made me step back and think about what is most important to me, what matters most, and what I want the next few decades to look like.

As the sea shapes and smooths the rocks and the glass and the shells, I will shape this next and new exciting chapter in my life.