Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Working Convalescence

Tomorrow I am heading back to work after being off since May 4th.  Seems like a lifetime ago at times, then other times just like yesterday.  I've had a successful surgery, an uneventful beginning to my recovery, and am getting my strength back a little every day.  Going back to work is going to be difficult at times, but it will definitely be good for me emotionally.  Have I changed any?  Have they changed any?  Will they look at me funny?  Will they even care or will they just look at me with pity?  
I'm going to work half-days this week, then reassess and see how I feel on Monday.  If I'm feeling good, then I'll go back full-time.  If I start to feel bad, I will leave early.  I am very grateful that I don't have to do any walking for my job and that my desk and office will be my refuge.  I know that it will not be easy, but not everything is.  It's going to take a lot of time to get ready in the morning, and hobbling around with crutches and a knee walker isn't a walk (ha!) in the park.  I will have to constantly remind myself that I have to go slow and not try to be a show off at work as to how tough I am.  Who am I kidding?  When it's come to this surgery, I am far from tough and even through a relatively easy recovery I get scared and nervous and apprehensive over little things.  I just have to remember that when surrounded by my colleagues.  I'm human too.  Let a little of the shell break.

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