I've spent the last three days in what I have called solitary confinement to the couch. While I am not alone in the true sense - I have the wonderful love of my life with me and my little dog too - I am making myself stay on the couch with this blasted foot jacked up on a stack of pillows, again. I started back to work on June 1st with a run of three half days. I figured that would be enough to gear me up for a week of full days. Was I ever wrong! I made it to Thursday, never being able to complete a full day, and had to call in sick to work on Friday. It was truly another low point for me in this recovery. I have only called in to work sick one other time, and I wasn't able to open my eyes due to a headache caused by chemicals in the workplace.
I can't really keep my foot elevated the way it needs to be at work. I tried balancing it on my tower for a few days, but knocked that over on my good big toe and decided that was a bit too dangerous both for myself and office IT equipment. So, we tried a box with two pillows on it. This helped some, but I still can't find a comfortable position. The only time that I am truly comfortable is when I have my foot jacked up on my desk. This is a very uncomfortable position to actually try to work in, and it's not very professional. I limit this to a few minutes every couple of hours, mostly when I know most people are out of the office and not walking around.
So, I promised myself if I stayed home I would keep my foot elevated the majority of the time, and so far I have kept my promise. Not that there is much else for me to do. I can't go shopping (not that I would, because I really dislike shopping) or to the beach or out to dinner or really anything else.
I'm going nutty as well. I've had a few crying jags over the last couple of weeks. These seem to strike out of the blue, last from a few minutes to a half hour. I know that this is normal, but hate to break down in front of co-workers. At home is one thing, alone is best, but at work is just not cool at all. Then yesterday I had the total opposite. I laughed uncontrollably; side splitting, hard to breathe, tears streaming down my face, bladder bursting laughing. I tried to share what I was laughing about with the love of my life, and he just did not find it even chuckle worthy, so I laughed harder.
Between the laughing and the crying - today I am feeling more on the weepy side, I have come to the conclusion that solitary confinement is not for me. Tomorrow is Monday, and I am heading back to work. I think I am feeling strong enough after this little break to work the full days. I think that I was both physically and emotionally unprepared and not ready for full day work when I thought that I was. This is not the first time I have underestimated healing since this journey started back on May 5th.
The best part about tomorrow is that I can finally say that I am getting out of The Pink Monstrosity next week! This is enough to make a girl practically giddy, though I am keeping the emotions in check and not letting them show too much. I may very well be going back into another fiberglass prison. I'm really, really hoping for the big, black, ugly boot though. Really!
Tomorrow starts the official countdown to June 23rd!